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Tony Adams
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Taste of Polonia
By the time I got there around 6:45 or so the Ampol Aires were on the polka stage. They were awesome. The real stuff. I cannot even begin to describe how great they were. I enjoyed them tremendously even *before* I drank any beer.

So anyway, the beer situation. It looked mighty bleak initially. There was only one beer tent in the big main area of the fest and it was only selling Okocim. Okocim is not bad, but like most european beers, I find it boring. I get one for $4.50 and wander around listening to music and ogling the dames, of which there were gajillions. Then, over toward the polka stage (the west end of the fest) I find another beer tent - more of a hut. They have the regular Okocim on tap near the hut, but the hut is selling cans of different kind of Okocim. I ask one of the hombres what the deal is with the cans. He tells me that it is "Moscne" which is Polsku for "strong". He claimed it was 7% as opposed to the regular stuff which is around five percent alcohol. It costs a dollar more, but the math suggests that it is the better deal, assuming a goal of most alcohol for my drunken dollar.

The moscne is MUCH yummier in addition to packing a bigger whallop. It is slightly darker, not quite amber. I wander around more. I listen to a U2 cover band for about a minute. They did an adequate job. The interesting part was the singer. He looked a LOT like Bono - kind of like a younger version of what Bono looks like now rather than the Bono of 1985. He also had the swagger down pat. But it was way non-compel.

I spent most of that part of the evening enjoying the Ampol Aires. I did watch Hetman for a while also.

Hetman was fine. Nothing eighties about them unless there was a style of metal in the eighties that I was not aware of. They were also 100% non-compel. I did like the fact that they sang in Polish and yammered entirely in Polish. Makes for a more "authentic" experience. I went back for more Polka and another Moscne.

Flush with drunken pride, I ask for a moscne with as much care as possible to pronounce it the way the initial hombre taught me. The volunteer tried to explain that he did not speak polish and had no idea what I wanted. He had just started his shift. I dunno why, (well, i guess I was drunck already) but I had to go along with the misconception. I yelped "beer" in my best fake eastern european accent. He reached into the icy tub, grabbed a bottle and pointed at it. I just assumed that they had bottles and cans of the moscne, (it was the only beer on the menu as far as I could tell) so I nodded. Well it turns out that the bottles were Okocim Porter.

8%!

and even yummier than the moscne. Like most porters it was rich and dark and a bit too sweet. Nice. Unfortunately they had a very limited supply of the porters. By the time I finished it and returned for another they had run out.

Then around eight thirty the Ampol Aires made an announcement. The next act that was scheduled to perform on the polka stage was stuck in traffic or something so they would play "a little longer". They played two more sets, like two more hours closing down the festival. The next act never showed up. Or perhaps they did show up and the awesomeness of the Ampol Aires intimidated them to death or something.

Around this time I'm wandering past the stage where the U2 band had been playing and I hear an announcement about clearing space in front of the stage. A pretty big crowd was gathered so I walk over to investigate. Canned music starts playing from the PA. It sounded like Strauss, but I dunno what it was. Then a large group of dancers in (what I'm assuming was) traditional Polish garb start spinning and twirling and well, you know, dancing in front of the stage. Now, being a male and all that I'm not very interested in dance, especially as a spectator sport. But these kids were really really good and the costumes were awesome. The young women were mostly all mostly beautiful. I was transfixed. Sure, I was drunck by then, but it was almost moving if you'll pardon the expression. I think they did four pieces, each one with a costume change. There were at least two "squads" who changed costumes while the other group was doing their bit. It was entirely great. Even now in the clear light of my hangover I STILL want some of those cossacky boots and trousers.

The Funky Polak was 100% boring. Poland's answer to Eminem. Did I mention that he was boring? I suppose rap in a language that one does not understand has a pretty big handicap right off the bat.

Think Floyd followed Hetman on the main stage. Now, again, I was well drunk by then so YMMV but I loved them. They had three women backup singers so they could actually sort of pull off Dark Side of the Moon and stuff like that. The main singer dude did a fine job of singing. I fergit which song it was, the lead guitar player sang lead vocals on one song and not quite adequately, but given the enormity of the task (imitating Pink Floyd!) I must say that they managed it pretty well.

I've been to a lot of festivals. This was the only one where the bands all stop playing for a brief break at last call so that everyone can go get one more beer without missing any of the action. Awesome people those Poles. Bravo.

The admission charge is a whopping $7. Either it is higher this year or I forgot how much it was. That was bit of a surprise. The festival is held on private property so unlike the usual Chicago street faire, the admission charge probably isn't optional. Also, the food and beer tickets are only sold in $5 sheets so it is quite possible to end up with a few unused tickets, effectively raising your admission. This is a minor issue though, and not one that can't be solved by applying funnel cake.

I was tired when I headed over to the fest, but the combo of all that great music and beer or something gave me a huge second wind. After the fest I rode down to The Mutiny where I drank a lot more beer and watched a band from Rockford, whose name I've already forgot and the Venom Lords, who were good, but have a new less cute, less female bass player. Wah.

Then I got a beer and a slice at Santullos who restoreth my faith in pizza. (Ever love a place so much that you wish you didn't? I'll be crushed if they ever close.)

And now I wonder why I'm hung over?

Oh and I almost forgot the funniest moment of the night. I'm riding down Milwaukee on my way down to The Mutiny. A car load of young latino men yell something at me as they pass. I honestly didn't hear it well enough to understand what they said. I just assume in these cases that it was something unpleasant. I catch up with them at a red light at Irving Park and, being very drunck and stupid I approach the car and ask them what is up. The guy in the passenger seat looks at me, smiles and ROLLS UP THE WINDOW! I was SO dissed, but it was just entirely hilarious. I nearly fall off my bike laughing and I see that in the car they all appear to be laughing also.

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